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Literature Text
Loving prism boy
imprisoned in Leaves of Grass.
Sprint, grow, transcend – bound
towards a Jupiter dawn:
your natural liberty.
imprisoned in Leaves of Grass.
Sprint, grow, transcend – bound
towards a Jupiter dawn:
your natural liberty.
Literature
i am not a supernova boy
like a specter
speaking in blue x-rays
& writing invisible verses -
love, i am the patron saint
of thieves & mediocrities
Literature
Rain-boy
Rain-boy the summer sun has dried you up, leaving puddles as
piles of salt, rivers as dry rocks, barren weeds and broken glass.
Rain-boy, the summer breeze is stiff, it sits in my room heavy,
curling in the corner with constant heaving sighs and i cannot
ignore him. you were always soft, a gentle tapping at my window,
a light humming on the roof when the night fell and you fell and i
fell asleep. i loved falling asleep in your arms, dreaming of kaleidoscope
stained-glass ponds, your grey eyes, your grey skies, you you you.
you were autumn and winter and spring, a gentle metronome, a
constant in my memories, leaning on the windowframe with a
Literature
pretty boy, they said
pretty boy,
they said, in gray undertones.
he takes his time
in living, growing,
dreaming, drowning,
just a little more than he had before.
he frequents the bay
when the rest of the world sleeps,
lost yet found
under the bouquet of trees.
he smells of citrus and
urban intersections.
in class,
he finds his fingers in his hair,
a smile misplaced.
he dreams of the boys he likes,
and the seconds tick ever so softly.
he bats his eyes and clicks
with them. he is anything
but a mirror.
pretty boy,
they whisper in gray,
but his world is blue.
he thinks the summer
boys are too faint,
the winter,
too liquid.
pretty boy:
his eyes are undone,
but his l
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It is interesting because when this was first written (a few months ago) I thought it was discussing something entirely different than what I see now. It is almost as if the piece itself became a prism.
I used the tanka format because I genuinely enjoy this beautiful form. Just like the haiku, I find it peaceful and complimentary to many subjects.
As always, I welcome thoughts, comments, critiques and suggestions.
Best Regards,
Tristan Cody.
dailylitdeviations.deviantart.…
dailylitrecognition.deviantart…
It is interesting because when this was first written (a few months ago) I thought it was discussing something entirely different than what I see now. It is almost as if the piece itself became a prism.
I used the tanka format because I genuinely enjoy this beautiful form. Just like the haiku, I find it peaceful and complimentary to many subjects.
As always, I welcome thoughts, comments, critiques and suggestions.
Best Regards,
Tristan Cody.
Comments38
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Overall
Vision Originality Technique ImpactI love the technique here. I think you've executed the tanka form beautifully. The words fit the pattern of beats and pauses very well. It sounds lovely when read aloud too, which doesn't always happen. So congrats on that!
As far as originality and vision are concerned: I applaud you on both. There is certainly a huge degree of original thought in here. I'm not sure what a "prism boy" is, but I was given a good sense based on the word choice and imagery. Perhaps I'm missing some reference that might help me understand?
I have it a lower score on "impact" just because it left me with the impression that I was missing something.
Regardless, I like it! Especially the last few lines. The image of a "Jupiter dawn" is perfect and so original! Overall, I really liked it! Good job!